Falling in love is easy, but what about when those butterflies, excitement and sweet compliments has turned into normalcy? When comes to a lifelong relationship, a marriage. We are talking about bills, careers, children, chores, pets and many more. Thus, many people said marriage is hard.
Recently, a Malaysian husband took social media to vent his frustrations over his wife, the one suppose to be his soul-mate and life partner that he claimed doesn’t understand him, and always blame him. No matter, how hard he work and spared her a 4-figure pocket money, but still she is unsatisfied.
His post read:
Sorry, it’s my second time to vent here.
Since my last post few months back, i just need need a place to rant. I admitted i’m not rich, not a Dato or whatever.
After marriage, my expenses are as follow:
Diaper, milk powder, medical expenses, house rental, expenses for kid’s daycare, electricity and water bills, a maid at home and RM2,100 as pocket money for my wife, i wanted to stress that i bear all the costs at home that’s only for my wife’s personal use.
My mum is taking care of our daily meals. She prepared the food and paying for the ingredients, other than that, i also spare my mum some money for food. 95% of the chores will be taken care by the maid, while my wife only cleaning our room sometimes.
In the morning, we are sending our kids to daycare. We only take care of our kids at night and weekend, i do help up too maybe 10-20%.
She was blaming others don’t understand her choice as a freelancer, selling supplements and slimming products. She was making a loss operating her own business. I borrow RM25,000 from the company to her.
Then she told me as a husband i should be supporting her and not asking her to pay back the money she borrowed.
I had been knowing her for years and since i knew her she kept changing her job. Most of the time blaming others looking down on her, don’t understand her, and blaming me as the husband with low income.
The problem is even my income is low, i have been taking care of the family and my wife for 4 years, what was wrong with me?? Before we tied the knot, she told me she is financial independent, she claimed she earned 5-figure monthly. She preferred going dutch (AA-basis), don’t like to rely on a man.
But after getting married, it’s completely a different plot, i don’t blamed her for not earning as much as she claimed and not helping the family.
But why is she blaming me? i’m not having an affair, she is my only wife. I never change my job and in fact my income is increasing every year, our life is getting better too. but she always blame me and wanted me to look for another job, said freelance can earned more. She always wanted me to look for a job with commission.
But the problem is if it’s not my career, our kids probably already starving to death. I don’t understand why she is criticising me, someone who has been taking care of the family and her for 4 years.
She never shared the responsibility of the family, all the household expenses is on my shoulder. She pocketed all side income she is getting too.
She believing in outsiders rather than her own husband. Every businesses she was keen as long as i shared my opinion, i will get scolded. Anyhow, i’m in business for a few years, more or less i’ll have some experience.
But every time, when she was into something she will criticised my business saying those organization are way better than my company. She was working hard for those who sweet-talk her and listened to only those who praised her. However, things always ended like how i analysed.
At the end of the day, she is making a loss, money as well as time. It’s affected me as well as a family.
Gosh! What did i do wrongly??
I just wanted to rant. I knew probably i will be attacked by netizen but at least a place to vent my frustrations. Thanks!
Let’s check out the netizens’ comments:
▼ ” Where to find such a nice man? really discontented”
▼ ” Why good husband always belong to others? do you still need a wife?”
▼” You just need a Kakak ( maid) not a wife”
▼” Change another wife! If i’m your wife i don’t need RM2,100 pocket money, i just need RM1,500″
▼ One was doubted why he spared RM2,100 pocket money, household expenses, maid, daycare and borrow RM25,000 to the wife, he should be earning more than RM10k, why is he still renting a house?
The author of the post, then explained that he rented a bigger unit of house or else the house will be costing him millions, he will need more time to save enough to buy a house as he is the sole income-earner now.
▼”I’m lucky to marry my wife, she don’t mind my income is low and willing to shoulder the expenses with me”
▼ ” It’s good to vent your frustrations. It’s tough for you, but life is always like that.. when you met someone good, you tend to not appreciate. When you met someone not so good, you will be thinking of those who treated you well. Somehow, it’s not your fault, you do your best. Not every husband can afford giving RM2,100 as pocket money for the wife. It’s just she don’t appreciate.
Be it a wife or a husband, we should try to understand our partner. Grab a chance to talk to her nicely, tell her your frustrations.
Communication is crucial in a relationship. Only when you change for me and i change for you, the relationship will last long ~”
Wellsaid~ I can’t agreed more with this netizen! All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication can make it easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger and healthier partnership.
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